Some thoughts for the end of week 7 (8 weeks left!)

To those who read my blog, thank you for your love and support. If I could just have a video camera 24/7 and a mind reader, that would be a lot better for you all to understand occurences here. When I first got here, I thought "what have I done?!" But now, I'm in the routine, and when I have bad days, I think "tomorrow is a new day".
In regards to my last post, I fed my little Egore the next day. He was pretty good for a while but then he just started smiling and laughing and wouldn't let me feed him. Lots of the kids do that when they know it's not a worker (either by touch, sound or sight). At least he wasn't acting afraid, just playing. So the worker had to take over, and I was to take my little Vallie to "pat" (bed). Like most kids, she's got these tiny chicken-like legs and arms. When she walks she looks like a puppet with her hands up at her shoulders, or ready to cluck like a chicken. I admit, she's probably my favorite, which surprised Mario the other day since she's the most aggressive. But trust me, she's a cutie...I'd bring her back if I could.

This quote has been circulating around us interns as it is a good reminder when we get so depressed seeing these children suffer day after day.
President Boyd K. Packer (LDS church leader) said:“Remember this! The line ‘And they all lived happily ever after’ is never written into the second act [of a play]. That line belongs in the third act, when the mysteries are solved and everything is put right. … “Until you have a broad perspective of the eternal nature of [the plan], you won’t make much sense out of the inequities in life. Some are born with so little and others with so much. Some are born in poverty, with handicaps, with pain, with suffering. Some experience premature death, even innocent children. There are the brutal, unforgiving forces of nature and the brutality of man to man. We have seen a lot of that recently.“Do not suppose that God willfully causes that which, for His own purposes, he permits. When you know the plan and the purpose of it all, even these things will manifest a loving Father in Heaven”

Seeing so many children suffer, many of us, including myself have struggled in thinking how unfair it is, and why God allows it. But I know that this is part of His plan and that while these beautiful children suffer, there are angels beside these children comforting them. I am grateful for the chance I have to try and be a source of that peace and hope that in the resurrection, I will see them, give them a hug, and finally have a real conversation with them. I've also come to learn to look beyond an outward appearance. Some are misshapen from failed abortion attempts, disease, or from being in a chair their whole life. Most of them have rotting teeth/bad breath from lack of dental hygeine. But these children are currently the light of my life. Underneath lies an amazing child who has overcome and suffered a lot. Show me a normal person who could do that and still laugh and smile every day.